10 Pointless Woodsball Upgrades

...And what value they DO carry

By Jamie Innes  7-2-06


This article has been some time in the making. Over time I've modified my markers back and forth, to and fro, talked to various ballers of speedball and bushball preference over the internet. And at the end of the day, figured it would be interesting to make mention of some of the less than useful upgrades that people put on thier markers. I say 'less than useful'... because these things aren't 'useless'. This article has in part been inspired by the famous printed advert for one particular online vendor, which states...

"Try some upgrades that make sense"

It should also be noted that by and large, this article is an analysis of (mostly) milsim upgrades. So without further delay, here is the bad bunch, and what they're actually good for.


10. Scopes
Rated at 10 because I consider these the most useful of the ten. We all know what paintballs are like when you shoot them. Accuracy is poor compared to a bullet. Hell, it's poor even compared to a musket round. So why on earth fit a scope? You can't aim with it. But... you can spot with it. Useful for playing on fields with large open spaces, where you can observe (and identify) players from long distances.


9.  Drop Forwards
Droppy or no droppy? Ooohh yes, when WW3 starts, they'll be asking this question. The fact is, you fit one of these and your marker (and HOPPER) gains about 3 inches of height relative to the tank placement on your shoulder. Not so flash when paintballs are flying by your head and your hopper. On the other hand... a nice 'tight' feeling when shooting your marker behind a bunker. So make the decision, there is NO right answer. Higher profile? or tighter gat?


8.  Weaver rails
Or as I call them, the scourge of the carbine... & the leprosy of the milsim paintball marker. It all relates back to assault rifles such as the M16 or G36... which utilise these things (Also known as 'Picatinny' rails). The idea is you mount your accessories such as lights, lasers, bipods etc, on the rails. Unfortunately for paintballers almost all of this stuff is not needed, making weaver rails a paperweight at best.


7.  Mechanical Double Triggers
Now here's an issue I'm bound to recieve abuse on :) . Why call a double trigger a pointless upgrade? Well let me first say that they're not always pointless. Far from it. Most electro double triggers are fantastic for thier intended purpose, spitting out the paint fast. But on a typical mechanical marker, the average baller will put out between 300 and 500 rounds per minute based on the trigger pull of thier marker, and thier ability and style of trigger pull. The problem is, usually when you fit a double trigger to a mechanical marker... all you're really doing is allowing your middle finger to 'go along for the ride'. Sometimes a minimal increase in RPM can be observed. This is however null and void if the double trigger actually improves the internal firing mechanism of the marker also.


6.  Magazines
The last bastian of the milsimer. You've got your stock, handguard, weaver rails and accessories (Leprosy, see above). Now to complete the look you contemplate and consider the realism of adding a real or imatation rifle magazine to your marker. Before you do so, put it on a scale and find out it's weight, for the most part... that's all that's happening. 100 grams or so of weight is being added. Now this is debatable based on a few things, traditionally mags have been replacement or new foregrips (if mounted on an A-5, Pro carbine, Spyder etc). However there have been a new generation of mags over the last year (2005-2006) that carry added function. To offer some examples...

   * MP5 mags that mount over the A-5 tombstone and house the steel braided hose
   * MP5 mags that mount over the A-5 tombstone and house a palmer stabiliser
   * MP5 mags that mount over the A-5 tombstone and detach, and can carry up to 25 extra paintballs
   * M16/Ak47 mags that open up and can be used for carrying extra bits and pieces, such as allen keys, orings or batteries.


5.  M16 carry handle
Now  bear in mind, there are about 3 or 4 various carry handles out there (That I have seen), they're not all created equal. They are different sizes and different weights, and some mount on different sized rails. The following is analysis based on the M16A3 carry handle, the most common one seen nowadays.
    I have an A3 carry handle, and these things are NOT LIGHT. They are built for strength from steel. They mount to a weaver rail and must weigh somewhere around 200 grams. That doesn't sound like much, but when you're used to hitting the field with a marker that is 1.2kg, and it gains weight to 1.4kg, you DO notice the difference. It might not bother you, but you are in fact adding significant weight to your marker with minimal benefit. Another issue with these carry handles is most people will NOT even get thier fingers through the carry handle. I have small hands for an adult male and I CANNOT get my fingers through. Good thing the Marines and Army normally carry thier rifles with a sling, and don't actually use the 'carry handle' for 'carrying'.
    So the upside, I suppose, is they help complete your 'Milsim M4 or M16', since they're usually used in unison with the M16 front sight (The carry handle contains the rear of the sight atop of it). Consider yourself lucky if you actually find a carry handle that's big enough to fit your fingers, mounts on your marker, is lightweight, and is strong.


4.  M16 front sight
Most paintballers look down the barrel to see where thier paintball is going to go. That's about the best you can do when your ammunition is an inaccurate liquid filled sphere that goes in wonky directions when fired. So why oh why obstruct your aim with an M16 front sight? Well... I'm not going to tell you to avoid milsiming your marker into an M16. Go for it. The fact is, these sights are designed for more accurate munition, BULLETS. And you're not shooting bullets, there I said it :)
   On the other hand, there's this peculiar issue with stock/mask clearance and raised sighting systems. See most people who want to milsim thier marker WILL fit a stock, such as a carbine stock, solid stock, or folding stock. There are many types of stocks. Often when you fit a stock, your mask will hit that stock if you try and look straight down the barrel, so you sometimes need some kind of sighting system down the paintball marker that is raised... say 2 inches above the barrel. Well one way would be to get a raised sight rail (Not included in the top 10 due to thier usefulness) and fit a red dot sight. Another way would be to combine an M16 front sight and an M16 carry handle.
   There are a few varieties of M16 front sights. Most mount around the barrel, some mount atop a weaver rail, some are flip top sights which actually collapse. And of course, some are metal and some are plastic.


3.  Lasers
Down to the nitty gritty top 3 pointless recball upgrades. As it happens I see virtually no value to these 3 items, thus only the negative is given. 
    Fitting a laser to your marker. No... not a laser like in Star Wars, they're those sighting systems you see mounted on SWAT guy's guns which makes it super quick to aquire your target. You'll also notice when you see these things in the movies, they are ALWAYS in low light conditions, because laser sights are virtually impossible to see during the day. Then the issue of safety comes up since these things can and will damage a person's retina if shined directly into the human eye.


2.  Bipods
Used on real rifles and machineguns to achieve an accurate shot, often at long ranges. Soometimes due to extreme weight of the weapon (Machinegun) or the precise shot required (rifle). Unfortunately paintballers... precise shots are non existent at the best of times, and the markers are nowhere near as heavy as a machinegun. When you're trapsing around the field and you want to rest your marker against something for a 'steady' shot, sinply use your barrel, reciever or foregrip, you simply don't need a bipod.


1.  Muzzle Breaks & 'Fake' Supressors
Two words: WHY BOTHER. Many barrels come with a muzzle break built in, designed to help deaden the sound signature of the barrel. In reality they do little on thier own (Sound supression is minimal), and under most circumstances... adding one to your marker will be adding weight. Yep, get out the digital scales. Fake supressors are just as bad, if not worse. Setting aside the various confused and differing laws on firearm sound supression (based on geographical location), 'fake' supressors are cosmetic only. They aren't designed to muffle the sound (if they do, that's a bonus), thus in reality you're adding a nice big weight to the end of your barrel without any real payoff.


CONCLUSION:

If you're a die hard milsimer, more-so than I... then I have quite possibly annoyed you with some of my analysis. Please note that this article is intended to be tongue in cheek :) All I'm really hoping to achive is to get people thinking about how useful these bits and pieces REALLY are for PAINTBALL. It's been my experiece through using several of these top 10 items (Not so much by listening to half-informed hearsay), that thier usefulness is generally limited. And although I don't practice financial sensibility, I do preach it. Before BUYING these top 10 items, consider asking yourself these important questions...

1. What does my existing marker weigh? and what will it weigh later WITH item(s) affixed?
2. Will the said new item be compatible with existing components, such as hopper, trigger, recievers, stock.
3. Will I still want the item on my marker in 6 months? YES or NO?
4. How much functional (not cosmetic) benefit is there *really* in said item? and bearing this in mind... how does this compare to the price of the item?

Please people, be sensible modifying your markers. :)